How to Handle a First Date Rejection

Did you finally workup the courage to ask a girl on a date?  If so, good for you!  This is truly a step in the right direction.  The first step in jumping into the dating scene is asking.  But, what if you received a no?  What does it mean?  Continue reading on to find out and for tips on how to handle a first date rejection.


The Scenario:  You like a girl from school.  You asked her join you for a movie, but you were turned down.  What do you do?


It is important gauge the no answer.  Does she outright say no?  Does she say she is busy this weekend, but maybe the next?  If the girl says maybe next time, do not give up.  There is still hope for you.  On the other hand, if she outright says no, you may feel like running away in embarrassment, but don’t do it.  Casually say “I’ll let you know if it is good.”


The Scenario:  You asked a woman from work to join you for dinner, but she said no.  What do you do?


Once again, you should gauge her answer.  Did she outright say no?  Did she say she didn’t like seafood?  If you get a no because the woman doesn’t like your choice in restaurants, offer another suggestion.  In fact, say “I’m not really a picky eater.  If you would like, you could pick the restaurant.”  Wait and see what she has to say.  If she says yes, good.  If she still says no, it is time to move on.


The Scenario:  You asked a girl from school to join you at the beach, but she said no.  What do you do?


As always, you should gauge the answer no.  Also, look at her body language and consider her tone.  Is she disappointed or is she truly not interested.  A girl who shows disappointment may be interested in you, but she may not like your suggestion of an afternoon at the beach.  In terms of teens, know that most girls are fearful about their body.  The may fear you seeing them in a bathing suit.  If you get that type of vibe, suggest something else, like a movie.


The Scenario:  You asked a woman at the office to join you for drinks after work.  She said no.  Now what?


When it comes to workplace relationships, there are a number of factors to take into consideration.  A coworker may be interested in you, but she may fear workplace gossip or worry about her job.  Never pressure a coworker into a date, but don’t be afraid.  Ask for a date in private and suggest a bar away from work, so you won’t run into other coworkers.


Plans should also be taken into consideration.  Does your coworker say “I would love to, but I have other plans.”  This means you still have hope.  It is easy to ask a coworker out for drinks or a dinner after a day of long work, but she may have other plans.  On Tuesday, suggest meeting after work on Friday.


As highlighted above, you may receive a no to a first date offer in many scenarios.  Before giving up all hope, consider her reaction.  There may still be hope for you.  If not, brush yourself off and move on.  It is a tacky, age-old saying, but there are other fish in the sea.

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First Dates: Increase Your Chances of Getting a Second One

Are you preparing for your first date with a new girl?  Although you will be nervous and most of your attention will be placed on the big night, it is important to think ahead.  A second date is no guarantee, but the process begins during the first.  So, what can you do to ensure your first date with the girl you like isn’t your last?


Be yourself.  If you are looking for relationship advice, it won’t be hard to find.  Your friends will have a ton of advice and it is easy to find online, but that doesn’t always mean you should take it.   For example, some recommend that you be funny and overconfident, even cocky.  Yes, this may impress some girls, but not all.  Plus, don’t start a relationship or a date pretending to be someone you aren’t.  You may score a second date, but can you keep up with your two different personalities?  If a girl doesn’t like you for who you are, you shouldn’t want a second date.


Pay for your date.  One of the biggest problems couples encounter with dating is paying for it.  For the first date, you should pay.  After all, you did ask.  It is one of the many unwritten rules of first dates.  Not only is it polite, but it is a good way to score a second date.  A girl who unexpectedly has to reach for her wallet is likely less to accept a second date offer.


Ask questions, but don’t get too personal.  On a date, it is important to talk about yourself, but you also need to ask questions.  When doing so, be cautious.  Too many personal in-depth questions can turn a girl off.  Ask simple questions, yet questions that will help you get to know her.  Ask about where she works, where she goes to school, if she has any siblings, and so forth.  Don’t ask these questions all at once, casually work them into the conversation.


Be polite.  As previously stated, some recommend being funny, overconfident, and even cocky.  This is okay if it is your style, as you want to be yourself, but always be polite.  A girl wants to feel special on a date, not like she is an inconvenience.  So, hold open doors for your date and do so with a smile.  Listen to what she has to say, make eye contact, say please and thank you.


Ask.  Hands down, the easiest way to score a second date is to ask.  Women are tricky sometimes.  Yes, she may have enjoyed your first date, but that doesn’t mean she will outright say so or ask for a second date.  She is saying to herself “I like him, but does he really like me?”  So, don’t wait for any special signs.  If you had a good time, just ask.


Don’t apply too much pressure for a second date.  As previously stated, ask your date for a second, but be cautious when doing so.  Just ask or say “I had a good time, want to do it again?”  Better yet, make sure your date has your phone number and tell her to call if she is interested.  This completely takes the pressure off.  If she wants a date, she will call.  If not, she won’t call.  If a second date is made, you know the girl is truly interested in you.  She didn’t give into pressure and called you on her own free will.


You don’t want to pressure your date into a second one, but make it known you are up for just about anything.  Give her the freedom to choose your next date.  For example, you can say “I chose the restaurant tonight.  If you are interested in getting together again, you can choose the next or pick a movie.  Call me if interested.”  If a woman is unsure if you are right for her, she is still more likely to opt for a second date when it is on her terms.  Even if you aren’t her soul mate, at least she will have a good time.

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First Date Etiquette

Are you a guy who just scored your first date with a new girl?  If so, you may be excited and you should be.  Although etiquette may be the very last thing on your mind, you should still consider it.  If you want to score a second date, you need to make sure the first is picture perfect.


When it comes to meeting for a date, you have two options.  You can pick her up or meet her at your destination.  When possible, opt for a pickup.  Even if you have to drive 15 minutes out of your way, do so.  This gets your night started off on the right foot.  If you and your date meet at the destination, offer to take her home if she took public transportation, like the bus or a taxi.


One of the most important rules of dating is to show up on time.  Whether you pickup your date or meet her there, never be late.  Even 5 minutes is too long to make your date wait.  If you are not only interested in a second date, but a long-term relationship, show up on time.  Leave early and call if you can’t avoid being late.


Even if you knew a girl before your first official date, it is still here where you will make the biggest first impression.  So, make sure it is good.  You must look presentable.  This means wear something nice.  Is your lucky t-shirt covered in stains and holed?  If so, leave it at home.  Do not over-dress, but never under-dress.


The quickest way to a girl’s heart on a first date is to show your interest.  An easy way to do this is with eye contact.  Always make eye contact with your woman.  This can be hard when on a date with a beautiful girl, but it is a must.  Is she talking to you?  You better be looking in her eyes.  This shows that you are paying attention to her, not her breasts or another girl across the room.


On a first date, politeness is important.  Not only do you need to be polite to your date, but to those around you.  Are you at a restaurant?  Say please and thank you to your waiter and don’t start an argument or make a scene if something doesn’t go your way.  Your date isn’t only gauging how you treat her, but how you treat others too.


A first date is not the time to say “I love you.”  Are you absolutely smitten with your date?  If so, that is good, but keep your lips sealed.  It is okay to tell a girl you really like her, but leave the love word for later in the relationship.  A first date does not translate into marriage, sex, or soul mates.  If you try to make it, you may end the evening alone and a second date will only happen in your dreams.


If you just ended a long-term relationship, you may be feeling a wide array of emotions.  You may be excited about your new date, but wondering what could of happened with your ex-girlfriend.  This is okay and a natural feeling, but don’t utter a word.  Past relationships should never be discussed on a first date.  The moment you mention your ex-girlfriend, is the moment your first date is ruined.  Your woman will only think about how she compares or if she is simply just a rebound date.


Most importantly, never assume you will get sex.  Yes, some women do have sex on the first date, but not all.  You do not want to pressure your date or disappoint yourself.  For that reason, never assume you will get sex on the first date.  Just be happy with a kiss.  Your patience and understanding, should the woman want to wait, can help lead to a second date.


In short, you need to be polite and show your date respect.  By doing so, you will both have a good time.  In fact, your first date may lead to a second date, a third date, and possibly a long-term relationship.

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First Date Conversation Ideas

If you are gearing up for a first date, you may be nervous about the conversation.  First dates become extremely awkward when the wrong things are said or when nothing is said at all.  If topics of discussion on your first date is a fear of yours, continue reading on for a few suggestions.


In terms of first date conversations, it is best to plan.  When doing so, break the date down into three different categories.  These categories are beginning, middle, and end.  When you consider each part of your date, as opposed to the whole night, coming up with conversation ideas doesn’t sound so hard.


As for the beginning of the date, it depends on how you start the night.  Did you pickup your date or meet her at the destination?  Regardless, opt for a quick greeting.  A simple “Hi, thank for coming,” should be the first words out of your mouth.


If you pick a date up at her home, greet her inside and then ask if she is ready to go.  Once you get to the car, hold the door open for her.  Once inside, ask if she is comfortable.  If not, make steps to ensure she is.  If she is comfortable, she will likely follow it with something like “you have a nice car.”  This is a good starting point.  You can mention when you bought it or how you got it for a great deal.  Then, ask her about her car.


Another good first date conversation in the car is about likes and dislikes.  Are you going to watch a movie?  Tell her you hope it is good.  Then, ask her what her favorite movie is.  If you don’t know it, ask her to summarize it real quick.  You can take the same approach with favorite restaurants, bars, music groups, and so forth.


If you meet your date at the destination, such as dinner or a movie, ask how the trip was. Ask if she found the place okay.  Do this before asking if she is ready to go inside.


Once your date starts, you will be reaching the middle of the night.  This is where you want to get to know your date.  So, ask questions.  When doing so, don’t dig too deep.  Ask about her family.  Does she have any siblings?  Ask about her job or college classes.  These questions always lead to conversation.  You can also use them to talk about yourself.  Does your date tell you she has a sister and then talk about her?  You can do the same, mention your family.


An awkward point in a date is the end.  If at a restaurant, you may be unsure when it call it a night.  If you are finished eating or drinking, see if your date is interested in doing something else.  Does she want to stop and have a few drinks or listen to a band at a local bar?  It won’t hurt to ask.


A good date relies on good conversation.  This should take place throughout the entire date, but the words you utter at the end of the night have the most influence.  Be sure to say you had a good time.  You will also want to ask her for a second date.  If the date didn’t go so well, you may be nervous about asking.  Instead of outright asking, say “You have my phone number.  Call if want to do this again.”

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Where to Go on Your First Date

That is an age-old question. Cave men had it made. They firmly believed in kidnapping and taking their date to a filthy cave out in the middle of nowhere. Those were what was known as the good old days. Now days first date destinations and plans are a little trickier. First let’s cover where NOT to go on a first date.

The old standby of dinner and a movie is a really poor choice for a first date. How will you get to know the lady if you are sitting in a darkened theater with a movie being shown? If you choose the movie, there is probably going to be a lot of frantic car chases and a lot of blood involved. Neither are conducive to creating a memorable evening.

Also, don’t take your date to your parent’s house! She will know right away that you are a mama’s boy and you will never see her again.

Don’t take your date to a sleazy bar with a motel out back. You will scare the poor woman to death. She will jump out of the car and hitchhike back to town believing that she would be safer with a burly truck driver than with you.

Now, some good first date ideas are:

Begin with a simple lunch or coffee date. You want to keep the date casual so suggesting meeting up for lunch or coffee can be a good start. This way, if the date didn’t go so well, you can end the date there but if you enjoy each other company, you have the rest of the day to spend getting to know each other better.

Here are some ideas of where to go if the lunch or coffee date tells you’re there is some good chemistry happening:

If it is the season, an amusement park or a theme park is a good first date idea. It doesn’t matter how old you are, we can all be big kids at heart. There’re so much you can do at amusement parks and theme parks that most likely you will forget about the dating pressure and just have fun.

Most well populated areas have an array of museums covering many different subjects. Visiting one that is dedicated to something that you have in common with the woman is another good first date idea.

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What to Talk About on a Date

I’m sure you want your date to have fun and you want to have fun, too! You want to ensure that the conversation is interesting and stimulating to both of you.

Body language always speaks first in any conversation. When you are confident your body relaxes, becomes more open, you lean in, you smile, and you become more animated. When you are tense or not at ease with yourself, you will be sitting back, crossing your legs, maybe your arms, your mouth will barely break a smile, and your eyes will be searching elsewhere in the room. Knowing this will allow you to convey confidence with your body language.

Your verbal dating conversation skills will largely be judged on how able you are to create a conversation that your partner enjoys. Ultimately, that leads to you getting more dates. If you’re thinking this is obvious, yes it is! The question is HOW to create an interesting conversation.

Your dating conversation will be made up of you both asking and answering questions. If you ask the right questions, your partner is going to have fun. If you ask the wrong questions, they are going to ditch you. If you are evasive or less than honest when answering her questions, she is going to ditch you quicker.

Questions are powerful. Funny thing is that when a person is asked a direct question they somehow feel obligated to answer it. Here are some conversation starter question ideas for your first date:

“What do you love to do in your spare time?”

“What do you particularly enjoy about that?”
“If you could go on a fantasy holiday, anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would you do?”

By asking these questions you will cause your date to recall pleasant past experiences and share them with you.

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